Maybe it’s Better to Face it, but I Won’t… Sometimes.

I don’t know about other people, but I’m the kind of person who wants to be able to choose my social interactions. What I mean is, if I’m not expecting to socialize, I’m not going to be happy if I’m forced to. I’ll be nice and polite like everyone should, but inside I’m screaming.

I needed to put gas in my car one Monday afternoon so I went to the gas station I usually go to. I pull up to a pump, get out my credit card and my car key (I have a key fob so it’s almost always in my bag), start to get out of my car and that’s when I saw the screen on the gas pump said “pay inside.”

I of course go “no thanks” and drive around to see if all the others are like that. They are. Of course.

Now I’m sure some people would just bite the bullet and go in to pay. Not me. I drove to another gas station. It wasn’t far since I live in a suburb on the cusp of a bigger city. However, I failed to put my card and key away while doing so and they sat on my center console. As I pulled up to the new gas station pump, my elbow knocked my key down into the abyss between the console and the passenger seat.

As a particularly cautious person, I was not about to get out of my car to search under the seat for a better view. To me that’s a good way to get robbed. So naturally I climb into the backseat of my car to lay down on the floor and search that way. Didn’t find it. I climb back into the drivers seat, continuing my search and bruising my hand repeatedly as I forced it down into the abyss. Still nothing.

I realized at this point my car was facing the convenient store doors and many people were going in and out. I may have made eye contact with a couple as I thrashed around in my car like a maniac. Needless to say, I created this situation entirely in my attempt to avoid social interaction.

Will I do it again? Probably. I think there are some things we can choose to change about ourselves because we don’t like them. Maybe it’s hurting others and it would be good to try to change. But if it’s only hurting yourself, at what point does it become imperative to change? I don’t know where the line is, but I do know I’ll still always dislike unnecessary social interactions and do my best to avoid them.

I found my key after I moved the seat forward.