Is it Better to Ask?

I try to be as upfront and communicative as I can be in any relationship I engage in, platonic or otherwise. I don’t like feeling unsure because I’d rather just know. Sometimes. It’s difficult because there’s always that nagging feeling that I should leave it alone and not say anything. But this time I’m glad I could push through that.

I recently was in a romantic relationship with someone who expressed his desire to move back home, which is on the opposite side of the country from where we are currently. Just when I thought things were going to work out, he ends our relationship so he can move back home. That’s fine, no super hard feelings.

However he did this over the phone and never said the words “break up” or “end our relationship.” And it’s not like he was calling to tell me he was breaking up with me because he was leaving the next day, he hadn’t even decided when he would leave. So after our call I suddenly realized I wasn’t sure what had just happened between us. All he said was that he had decided to move back. Did this mean we would see each other until he left? Or did it mean he was ending things now that he had made this decision?

I ended up seeing him the next day and boy it was awkward leading up to asking him that question. Thankfully I had my dog there with me and she gave me something else to focus on instead of this incredibly weird question I needed to ask. I worked up the courage after a while and just blurted out “um so did we breakup last night?”

Yes. Yes we did.

There is a lot more to this situation than this snippet, but I think having something else to focus on made me feel less anxious. I know not everyone likes or can have a dog but maybe it’s something to think about. Maybe finding something else to hold most of our attention in those kinds of situations can be helpful. I wasn’t focused on how scared I was of his answer or of how stupid that question may have made me look. I just asked and got my answer. And at least now I know.