Elevator Etiquette

I went on vacation recently and I had an interaction that made me feel better about being so awkward when in an elevator with other people. I’m always hoping when I take an elevator that I’ll be alone in it because I’m still not sure, in my mid twenties, how people expect others to behave in an elevator.

Alas, I entered an elevator at the hotel I was staying at and another woman entered in behind me. Immediately my brain started sounding alarms because in movies or on TV, whenever people enter the elevator, the person who enters first and gets to the buttons first asks the others what floor they’re going to. But that just felt so weird to say. And yet I felt like if I didn’t ask and offer to push that button for her it would be rude.

I ended up asking “what floor?” At that same moment she was already reaching over to push the button for her floor. So now that question had left my mouth and she was already doing the job, so then I thought I just looked nosy. Thankfully she laughed and said her floor number and we had a brief conversation about how neither of us were sure what to do in an elevator. I mentioned my thought process and how I didn’t want to be rude and she agreed. She said she understood my thinking.

It made me realize that all of these rules that I’ve seen in media and occasionally in real life are just being made up as they go. Not adhering to them doesn’t make me rude, especially if I’m kind and courteous to the people around me. This particular situation may have been small in scale and funny from the beginning, but I think it also speaks to other social rules.

Just because you don’t hold a door open for someone or walk into an elevator and just let others fend for themselves, doesn’t mean you’re inherently rude. I’m not saying we should all stop following these rules, I think they’re there for a reason and it can help society run a little smoother. Like an obligation to show kindness. I just think that instead of feeling so conflicted about the rules, it’s better to focus on being kind for the sake of being kind.